Dear my only, favorite, beautiful, and loving princess,
How fast time has gone with you. It's almost been a year since I've met you Lana and the saying goes time flew by, but with you it feels like it's been forever. I feel like I've known you for most of my life. It must feel that way cuz life has never felt more real without you. I keep telling you how much I appreciate how much you care for me and make me feel loved but I don't think I tell you enough. I used to watch others love each other and think I'd be a better lover, but I look at you and get insecure. Boy how lucky am I to have someone like you.
Lana, we have gone through quite a bit. You tell me I should think of not only the bad but the good, and thinking back now and when I felt alone after losing you, I could only think of the endless good. You spoil me too much to not realize enough how much I should appreciate you. You make my everyday feel so purposeful and loved. I've always known people fall in love with those like their parents, and how much you remind me of my mom I couldn't emphasize enough. I was a rebellious son, but I grew to think back and appreciate the amount of love and care my mother gives me. I see that same trend with you. After being spoiled with so much love, only now I'm starting to really value how comfortable you've made me feel. I've never felt like I could be so much myself in front of anyone. I thought I was too much, and I can be, but you make me feel like I can fully express how I am and still be loved. I am so grateful for that you know. I am stubborn with the opinion that I must fully adult and become my best self before being presentable enough to face my lover and provide for her, but you always make me feel like I'm enough and make me want to be better. I know I've been shy of showing myself to you, but I've never felt less shy in being loved for how I am and how I appear. You give me so much confidence as a man and a lover. You make me wants to share every thought, happy and sad, light and dark, and face the success and struggles of life with you without any worry or fear. It's truly a blessing and I promise to never stop appreciating and giving back for how much love you give.
Did I mention how brilliant and mature you are for being 26 babe? I am so lucky to have someone 20 years younger than me who can keep be mentally entertained at all times. You keep saying you're boring or something, but I've never once felt bored with you ever. Maybe you get anxious when there's nothing to talk about but don't, cuz even in complete silence I just feel at home and at peace with you Lana. I just feel like I'm tucked in and cuddled with you and enjoying your warmth. I can't imagine how amazing that will feel when we're finally together in person. The way you laugh at my silly jokes, the way you get all the references I make, the way you match my emotions happy sad and mad - I can't express how much I enjoy that connection we have babe. All I can say is thank you. Thank you for being there for me and loving me like I've never been loved before. I love you so so so so so much babe.
Baby there's so many things I want to do with you. I told you before I want to show you everything and everywhere I've seen, but I want to explore all of the unknowns with you too. Life has so much to see and offer us, and I want to make sure you get to experience all of it while holding hands super tight and never let go. I know I may call you names, but you're really such a gentle, kind, loving soul that deserves to have it all. I love your energy and spirit. You put such heart and soul to everything you do, and it makes me feel so grateful to experience anything old and new with you. I can't wait to experience life with you through the good and bad. I know we're going to make everything work, and I know how badly we feel or want to cry, we'll get through everything together. You make such a good partner in crime, and I am so content in exploring the dark with you.
I know I've made you worry and suffer, but my heart and commitment is with you. It's so obvious to me that you're my soulmate forever. I have no doubts in my mind so don't mind me when I'm acting up and keep believing in me when I say this. We're really going to make it my love. Happy birthday to my favorite person in the world. Love you soooooo much Lana <3